Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Without Suffering We Would be Nothing
Every day on my 40 minute drive to work I use almost the entire commute to pray. I feel like that 40 minutes is an uninterrupted expanse of time that I can just BE with God... just me, the road, and the Lord. As I was praying a few days ago I just felt like He wanted me to share this.
I've been going through some difficult times lately. I can't go into great detail, but my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has magnified many aspects of my life and cause me a lot of pain and anxiety for most of the day. A lot of it is work related. I do have my good days of course, but even the good days are coupled with what I call "the cycling:" cycles of anxiety about something specific that lasts for about an hour, then a temporary reprieve where I can go about my day until the next cycle. One day a few weeks ago it got SO bad that the entire drive to work, I was crying and could hardly catch my breath. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I COULD do: I called my Nana and asked her to pray with me. She graciously obliged and said the most perfect, appropriate, and uplifting prayer asking God to relieve some of my worries and hold my hand as I approached the day ahead. After the prayer she said "Lovey, all you ever have to do is say 'Lord, I can't do this alone today. You have to help me through this,' and he will."
And she is so right. I called her on my way to work each day for the next 4 days to pray with me to get me through the day. Then I came across this scripture and it has become the focus of my life:
I posted this scripture in my locker at work, put it on a post-it in my planner, and recite this to myself whenever I can feel myself start to panic. Ever since that day that Nana prayed for me, in my drive-to-work prayer I thank the Lord specifically for the blessing of his work in my life. I thank him for standing beside me each day and being my fighter when I can't do it myself. This gives me SO much strength to go about my day. It doesn't eliminate my anxiety, but it softens it.
So basically I just wanted to share this. It might seem so simple and "duh!" to some people, but there might be those going through something difficult right now and could benefit from my Nana's words: "Lovey, all you ever have to do is say 'Lord, I can't do this alone today. You have to help me through this,' and he will."
So I'll leave you with this:
You can read about my journey with OCD here. Also, I use this devotional bible and this Daily Devotions book.